Today I feel like a little girl, trying to make it in a big world.
Like a little girl, with a great big God asking me to do big girl things and I don’t feel ready.
But you see, HE believes in me. HE knows what I’m capable of because HE designed me. I’d be an idiot not to trust that!
But do you have feel like that?
Like God is asking you to do something that is is bigger than you? That is outside your realm of experience perhaps? To trod new territory, to take a risk and not know how it might go? To risk failure or embarrassment for the sake of the possibility of something cool happening?
If you find yourself saying “what did I get myself into here?” there’s a good chance your exactly in the right place! If you find yourself saying “Oh nooo, I’m so unworthy of a responsibility like this,” there’s a good chance your right where HE wants you. And if you find yourself saying “I’m not enough, there’s no way I can do this on my own,” than your heart is primed to be used by God!
He doesn’t want people who think they know everything. That’s not an easy person to use. He wants the humble, the willing, the afraid, the deficient, the unschooled, the normal, the possible risk taker, the nobodies, the teachable, the moldable…the ones who are willing to follow and then give glory where it is rightly due.
The funny thing is there are more of us, than there are of the “somebodies”, those who appeared to be chosen or picked. There are more of us ordinary people that God is ready to take on an adventure, because you know you can’t do it on your own.
I recognize this spot, because I’ve been here before. And every time I feel my knees shake and my heart race and my mind think “you want me to do what?!?” is usually the beginning of a great adventure. And I could miss it if I let doubt or fear stop me from jumping in.
I’ve been vague because I want you to go there with me.
I know you’ve been here or felt this way, I’m hoping you are there right now, on the verge of something but the unknown is freaking you out!
What is it for you? What could God be calling you to that you are shuffling your feet about? In the dark quiet moments of life when the world gets quiet and you get this glimmer in your eye and this smirk on your face, what is that crazy scary but heart pumping adventure that HE might be calling you to.
For me, in this moment. I’m about to plunge head first into leading a good sized group of women in a bible study. Tomorrow morning I become a “Bible Study Leader.” And although I’ve led many studies through the years in living rooms of women and students, this is somehow different. This is a different level for me. Through the years I’ve watched wise women lead EquipHer Bible studies with so much depth and knowledge, they’ve taught me so much. And here I am, going to be the knowledge-bringer? What? Little ole me? Who grew up in a unchurched home, who became a Christian in high school, who stumbled through my faith in college? I’m going to teach the word to women who may possibly know it better than myself? Who may have taught me the word only a few semesters ago?
But this is what God does.
He pulls us out of the muck and mire and he seats us among princes and worthy people and HE says “Nevermind what everyone else thinks! I have chosen you and you can do all things through me, I will give you the strength.”
And if I’ve learned anything from conquering fear so far, the adventure is not worth missing.
So tonight, I get over myself. I put on my big girl pants! I take the hand of my lord who has told me I can do it. And I say YES to a crazy adventure that makes my heart race and my knees shake and I jump all in.
Here’s to risk, failure, adventure, learning, confidence growing, fear-conquering, soul-satisfying journeys!